Part Two Choice and Control --- Axioms and Keys to Appreciating

There is a Door and Here is One of the Keys


Understanding Me 
While
Being We 




SURVIVAL, POWER, LOVE, BELONGING, FREEDOM, and FUN

By understanding the drives for SURVIVAL, POWER, LOVE, BELONGING, FREEDOM, and FUN in people, we become more conscious of the need for our world to be a Quality World of our choosing.

Two Most Important Features

First Feature:

We all choose How We Behave. Even if we choose not to choose that is a choice. This is true at any time and at any place ...

Second Feature:

We Cannot Control Anyone’s Behavior But Our Own.
We may try like hell but it is really just our behaviour we have any say over.

The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory

1. The only person whose behaviour we can control is our own. We may try like hell to change others but the truth of it is You Can't ...

2. All we can give another person is information.

3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems. Most easily seen in relationships and very disruptive within the bounds of the relationship ...

4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life. It becomes our working definition of normal ... the problem is ever present ... affecting everything we do ... quietly almost unnoticed ... numbed out ... but we can never seem to have the relationship we want ... we know what it looks like ... but we can never get our needs met properly ... we don't know how ...

5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future. We can't go back and get our needs met ... we have to grieve our losses ... in the present ... then come to terms with who and what I am today ... then learn how to met my own needs in a creative fashion ...

6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our (Imagined) Quality World. We have to know where to look for the clues and cues on what to do so I can escape the ritual of my past ...

7. All we do is “Behave.” This one is so simple yet so hard to see ... all we do is Behave or Not Behave ...

8. All Behaviours are Total Behaviours and are made up of four components: Acting, Thinking, Feeling and Physiology. An Important Key Here is buried in here ... ...

9. All Total Behaviours are chosen, but we only have direct control over the Acting and Thinking components. Most Important concept ... You are responsible for what you do, how you do it ... we can claim someone else made us ____________ but in actual fact we chose ... All Total Behaviour is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.

10. We can only control our Feelings and Physiology indirectly through how we choose to Act and Think. I can actually take responsibility for what I do ... when I do it ... if I can do this then I can break the SPELL John Bradshaw talks about in his book "The Family"( see page 222 )...

Choice Theory

Proposes The Existence of a

"Quality World."

It is an imaginary place in our consciousness and starting at birth and continuing throughout our lives we place the people who are important to us, things we prize, and systems of belief, i.e. religion, cultural values and icons, etc. into the on going creation of this place in our mind.   Basically how life should be from my point of view ...










NDT: For the sake of the exercise and the sharing of the information with my client base I have garnered this information from the net ... Glasser and the Choice theory ...this is instrumental in all recovery discovery processes ...