Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Judge

To be in a place of judgement ... Judging ... The Judge ... one has to consider themselves superior over those who are being judged.

When you are in a place of self-judgement then your house is divided against itself. That, oddly enough, becomes a classic expression of ego vs spirit. It is in the resolution of that conflict that becomes an expression of spiritual growth.

To resolve this, we have to overcome the false beliefs we have picked up along the way and settle with life’s truths being what they are ... not what we want them to be.

“We” all go through this. It’s normal, not fun, but normal.

“We” judge ourselves in a vain attempt to support pre existing conditions set out in the false beliefs we learned and were passed to us by toxic significant others in our lives. These hand me downs are sometimes referred to as “my” truths. Most often as naught, the truths that we are depending on and calling true are not even close to being true.

One of life’s conundrums is our outer world has to be in balance with our inner world. When it’s not, we have to bring things into balance; by bringing my inner world into line with my outer world. The easiest way to do this is to drag down my outer world to match my feelings about my inner world. Doing this explains why we feel so terrible about ourselves. So if we blow it in some way we have the reason for those crappy feelings in the here and now, rather than looking into hurts and pains of my childhood abandonment issues.

The false believes were passed on to us by those who were caught in the same situation we are and who had no idea what to do with it other than give it to someone else and hope that they can solve the problem.

Friday, April 22, 2011

I Am The Diamond

I am the Diamond:

I have many many facits ... windows into the world I inhabit ... probably 100's if not thousands ... I have learned that I can look at my life through any of those facits, but my habit is to use just a few ...

I am the Diamond:

My design is flawless ... my view is sometimes jaded ... my character is strong but my behaviours, somedays is questionable ... I am not my behaviour ... but my design is flawless.

I am the Diamond:

I am colourful ... I sparkle ... there is a deep spark with in me ... I can reflect my world to the the world ... I have value beyond my wildest imagination ...

I am the Diamond:

I have been made in the deep chambers of time ... in the fires of existence ... very elemental ... very much a product of the my world ...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

To live life to the fullest.

We are here to live life to the fullest.

Simple statement...

True Statement...

One problem is; if you try to live it to the fullest without a relationship with spirit, then the whole process becomes an impossibility.


Because one of the primary ingredients is missing, when you try to do this all by yourself ...

You sink into a hell of your own making ...

And rather quickly too.

No matter how well intentioned you are ... you sink.

Try seeing it from spirit’s prospective;

It is very hard to save someone who is reluctant to be saved ...

You have to be willing ...

Willing to be open ...

Willing to be in the open ...


Willing to interact with spirit

And Then


Simple but True

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Dream in the Desert ... Olive Schreiner (1920)

I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. And on it an old man met her who had a long white beard; and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written Reason. And he asked her what she wanted; and she said, "I am Woman and I am seeking for the Land of Freedom."

And he said, "It is before you."

And she said, "I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river and bank steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in them."

And he said, "And beyond that?"

She said, "I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my hand, I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun shining on them!"

He said, "That is the Land of Freedom"

She said, "How am I to get there?"

He said, 'There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour and through the water of Suffering. There is no other."

She said, "Is there no bridge?"

He answered, "None."

She said, Is the water deep?"

He said, "Deep."

She said, "Is the door worn?"

He said, "It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost."

She said, "Have any crossed already?"

He said, "Some have tried!"

She said, "Is there a track to show where the best fording is?"

He said, "It has to be made."

She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, "I will go."

And he said, "You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed." And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received opinions she wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from her waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it in a cloud. And he said, "Take the shoes of dependence off your feet."

And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to her.

And he said, "That you may keep. They wear clothes in the Land Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims."

And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said, "Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot find a bottom do not set your foot"

And she said, "I am ready; let me go."

And he said, "No--but stay; what is that at your breast?"

She was silent.

He said, "Open it, and let me see."

And she opened her garment. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drink from it, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; and his knees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast his hands.

And Reason said, "Who is he and what is he doing here?"

And she said, "See his little wings . . "

And Reason said, "Put him down."

And she said, "He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to the Land of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried him. In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together there, and his great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one word only to me in the desert -- "Passion!" I have dreamed he might learn to say 'friendship' in that land."

And Reason said, "Put him down!"

And she said, "I will carry him so-with one arm, and with the other I fight the water."

He said, "Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you forget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down." He said, "He will not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his wings and fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who reach the Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the bank to them shall be Love's. He will be a man then, not a child.

At your breast he cannot move; put him down that he may grow."

And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her so that the blood ran down onto the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; she covered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the hair on her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from youth to age.

And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, "For what do I go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! I am utterly alone!"

And Reason, that old man, said to her, "Silence! What do you hear?"

And she listened intently, and she said, "I hear a sound of feet, a thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat this way!"

He said, "They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! Make a track to the water's edge! Where you stand now, the ground shall be beaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet." And he said, "Have you seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down to the water's edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and then another, and then another and at last with their bodies piled up a bridge is built and the rest pass over."

She said, "And of those that come first, some are swept away, and are heard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?"

"And are swept away, and are heard of no more -- and what of that?" he said. "And what of that . . . " she said.

"They make a track to the water's edge"

"They make a track to the waters edge . . . " And she said, "Over that bridge which shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?"

He said, 'the entire human race."

And the woman grasped her staff.

And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river . . .

And I dreamed a dream.

I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave men, hand in hand. And the looked into each other's eyes, and they were not afraid. And I saw the women also hold each other's hands. And I said to him beside me, "What place is this?"

And he said, "This is heaven."

And I said, "Where is it?"

And he answered, "On earth."

And I said, "When shall these things be?"

And he answered, "In the Future."

Note from a friend
This is an excerpt from the book, "Lost in the land of Oz," (or something to that effect.) The book includes this story, by Olive Schreiner, who wrote it in the 1920's. (So I should be OK re: copyright, eh?)

When I read earlier messages from Neil, I was reminded what it was like for me as the wife of an alcoholic. My (now ex-) husband told me that I was the problem, that I should get help. Essentially, "Get thee to a counselor!" So, to be compliant (nothing more) with his wishes, I decided to go ONE time.

After the relief of truly being heard during that session, I asked if the therapist had any more openings that day! I saw her for 3 1/2 years, then the therapist from hell for 6 years, and have seen that same original therapist again now for.... 5 years almost? I think. I have lost count.

Anyway, I am still coming to terms with the many ways in which, yes, I have a problem. But my therapist shared this story with me, and it resonates on so many levels that I wanted to share it with you.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Cosmic Consciousness Is A Place In Our Beingness

Cosmic Consciousness is a place in our beingness; a state of our consciousness where we come into spacious contact and awareness with all that is.

It is a place we are all destined to arrive at theoretically.

Dr Richard Maurice Bucke one of the first people to take the time to observe this phenomenon and its after effects describes it as: “A consciousness of the cosmos, knowing the life and order of the universe. It is considered a higher, yet, at present, a rare and exceptional peak in human evolution which the race is expected to reach in a distant future.

Those of us who get there seemly get there by stumbling upon it. There are many who purport that they know how to get there, but really it is the hunt and peck system coupled with a lot of good luck that gets most people there. Then when we get there, we really have no idea what to do with it when we get there. This stumbling upon happens as we work on ourselves in the various modes of recovery. Then, sometimes, it happens.

There are those who have taken the time to notice, Bucke and Maslow and others noticed that there are prerequisites that need to be met before one can trip into this place in our consciousness. Going into this place in our consciousness is a result of our experience and our coming to know and understand ourselves at the deepest levels possible; then and only then will the door open to that place. The very process of recovery lays down the basic ground rules for meeting all the prerequisites for the door to open.

Bucke writes that we have to be “at the top of the layer of the world of self consciousness,” or put another way, we have to know ourselves inside and out and then be prepared to be perfectly honest about who we are and how we got to where we are, so we can heal.

The inner workings of any of the forms of recovery/spiritual movement are all about coming to terms with “Know Thy Self.”

I am That I Am

In My Heart I am Free

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Most would say that Good is a positive. It is something to be looked forward to, it really does no harm, or so we think. It is something that we like. It lifts us up at times, makes us feel good or feel secure and gives us a sense of safety.

The Bad and the Ugly are things or situations etc that cost us or cause us pain. They take something away from us; they don’t allow us to have what we want or what we are entitled to or for that matter how we want it or where we want it.

The Bad and the Ugly stands between me and Good, or so I think.

All of this is very subjective, very experiential.

Now here is the question: how confident are you with your abilities to be able to discern what is indeed Good For You and conversely what falls under the umbrella of The Bad, The Ugly, or Evil ...?

What Are Your Experiences Struggling With This ...?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Cosmic Consciousness

A consciousness of the cosmos, knowing the life and order of the universe. It is considered a higher, yet, at present, a rare and exceptional peak in human evolution which the race is expected to reach in a distant future.

"The definitive book on the subject is considered to be 'Cosmic Consciousness', by Dr. Richard Maurice Bucke, published in 1901. Still in print today, this book has become a classic of mysticism, exerting worldwide influence nearly a century after his death. It is a truly unique book which looks at mystical experience from the point of view of psychology.

"Bucke created his own psychology to cover what he saw as all the states of consciousness that are possible from the perceptual consciousness of lower animals to the illumined cosmic consciousness of the religious sage or mystic. He did not live to see this book's success, and it has still not yet made its impact on psychology or psychiatry, Bucke's disciplines, because of the extreme materialistic turn of these two subjects in the twentieth century. Psychology and its sister, psychiatry, have hardly begun to assimilate the archetypal psychology of Carl Gustav Jung, let alone the spiritual psychology of Richard Maurice Bucke. Bucke's psychology is a whole domain of consciousness deeper than Jung's (although it skips over many facts that Jung brought out), and leaves Freud far behind, even though Bucke lived and died before the time of Freud or Jung. Dr. Bucke was a century ahead of his time.

"This volume was the logical sequel to his earlier books. In it Bucke posited a third type of consciousness among humans. There is, first, the simple consciousness of existence and, second, a higher level of self-consciousness. Bucke added a third and profoundly higher level, 'cosmic consciousness', which he believed to have been attained by only a few dozen individuals by 1901. These include Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Dante, Whitman, Francis Bacon, Blake, as well as Bucke himself. He believed that the occurrence of this special form of consciousness was increasing and attainable, eventually, by all. Whether this may turn out to be the case, only the future can tell.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Fool’s Gold

The real and only underlying flaw in life is that nearly all of us don’t believe we are good; that we don’t have value.

That statement is a truth as far as we are concern. We actually believe deeply that we don’t have value.

The problem is that statement, that mind set, is the furthest thing from the truth. It was learned when we were very young and now we hang on to it as if it were gold. It identifies me to me.

What is it that I will have to do to give up this false belief?

Fool’s Gold

Trust is about value

Life is about what I really value

The difference between those two places

Is something we have to learn

And then put them in their proper order in our lives

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Unraveling Co-dependent Relationships

Once you understand that the causes of co-dependency originate in relationship dy¬namics that never got completed, you can begin to see how those dynamics recycle in present relationships, be that marriage or inter social or vocational.

The completion of your psychological birth process is the dynamic that is pressing for recognition all the time in co-dependent relationships.

It is or they are the ghosts of sensations that are ever present and nearly not noticed. It is or they are what drives us to do what it is that we do while we are busy thinking I Had Choice. It is our feelings having us and not us having our feelings.

When you learn to recognize what you left undone or did not have the opportunity to complete, then, with additional support of safe significant others and new skills such as reframing and not over generalizing just to mention a few, you can consciously finish the process that should have gone to completion years ago. With some effort I might add. It is work.


The next step is to identify the co-dependent patterns. The following are some of the key indicators of a co-dependent relationship:

Even though you. have lots of objective evidence that the relationship as it stands is not good for you, you take no steps to change it or break the co-dependent patterns.

You find yourself making excuses for you or your partner that are designed to hide the truth from others.

When you think about changing or leaving the relationship, you feel afraid and cling to it even harder.

When you take some beginning steps to change the relation¬ship, you suffer acute anxiety and physical symptoms that can only be relieved by reestablishing the old co-dependent patterns.

When you do begin to make changes, you experience an in¬tense longing for the old patterns, or you feel scared, all alone or empty.

The main characteristics of co-dependent people are as fol¬lows.

What CO-DEPENDENTS like to do :

Use an external frame of reference. Co-dependents focus all of their attention on what their partner is doing or not doing.

Use the relationship the way someone might use alcohol or drugs. They are addicted to another person and believe they can't function independently of that person or without the relationship they have with that person.

Cannot define their psychological boundaries. Co-depen¬dents don't know where they end and others begin. They tend to take on the problems of others as their own.

Try always to make a good impression on others. This is a way in which co-dependent people try to control the percep¬tions of others. They are people-pleasers.

Do not trust their own ideas, perceptions, feelings or beliefs. Co-dependents will defer to the opinions of others and not stand by their own ideas and opinions.

Try to make themselves indispensable to others. Co-depen¬dents will knock themselves out to take care of things for others that these people could actually do for themselves.

Play martyr. They learn to suffer but do it gallantly. They will put up with intolerable situations because they think they have to.

Are skilled at controlling others. They try to control everything but usually fail because it is an impossible task.

Are out of touch with their true feelings. They distort their feelings and only express them when they can feel justified to do so.

Are gullible. Because co-dependents are not in touch with their feelings, they lack discernment. They are bad judges of character and only see what they want to see.

Lose contact with their spiritual self. They are often cut off from the spiritual side of life.

Are fearful, rigid and judgmental. Black and white thinking dominates the lives of co-dependents.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Cosmic Rule Number One: Ego verse Spirit

Every one of us has to give up deciding what is good or evil on our own terms ... that maybe sound ridiculous in the nth degree ... but it is because our ego is not the guiding light in all this. It wants to be, but it is not. It’s Spirit that is the guiding light and the Ego is in the way.

When we were very young our initial experiences with life were difficult ... that much is true. At that point in life every one of us related to that difficulty as it being painful. Again true! Basically because it was, but from the child’s magical way of looking, this pain or painfulness is understood as a death threat; something to be escaped from; it does not mean that it was a death threat, but from the child’s perception of it, it was.

Once there and established as a mindset, difficult/painful/death threat as a unit, then in the perception of all, the afterglow of the death threat attaches to anything that seems to be painful without any idea of the covert issues that are attaching to the present moment. These issues are really from our deep past of the painfulness from childhood. The intensity of the experience in the here and now is often coloured by the volume and the intensity of the childhood experience buried deep in our psyche. Thus the covert undercurrent relentlessly brings us to an irrational place in our consciousness that is embodied in fear ... “fear of pain” ... and that pain equates to perception of imagined death. Basically, scary as hell for no apparent reason other then what is present before us in the here and now. None of this is rational thinking but as this sense of fear intensifies and gains momentum, the symbiotic feedback loop repeats itself as our imagination, begins to take off and analyses what we think is happening and what we can do about it. As we try and rationalize our feelings away, we create a perfect little hell of our own making.

How Can We Avoid The Undercurrent Of The Covert Issue Of Death?

What happened when we were young was that we trusted what we did to combat those terrible feelings of isolation, fear and death. We learned self reliance. The problem with self reliance is that it was learned from the child’s perspective as a measure of self preservation. The problem is that from our prospective it seemed to work. We’re here aren’t we? Maybe, not worked very well, because as adults we are muddling our way through trying to have a life we know that we should be able to have but at the same time not getting what we need or want. We have placed our faith in how we did it then and do things now. It becomes a cybernetic feedback loop, a returning cycle; it becomes our way of doing things. We have to know what is best from our own point of view. We carry on repeating the same old patterns and getting the same old results.

Most, even the seemingly most religious of us, really don’t have the concept of how to place our faith in Spirit. Now if you are paying close attention to this thing called Life, the entire exercise of life is really about learning how to do just that; place our faith in something we have little or no experience with, then carrying on into the unknown.

Did you know that it is impossible to be afraid of the unknown? The only things we can fear are those things that we have experience with and then imagine about and then project those imaginings forward into our unknown, our future ... and that can make our life a very scary place to be.

In a 12 step program, the steps direct our attention to examining all the aforementioned; in Steps 2 and then Step 3; in Step 2. It is all about how we can’t do it ourselves and that something far greater than “me” ... “WE” ... can restore me to sanity.

Once experience is gained here in the appreciation and understanding of Step 2, that lays the foundation for Spirit, because Step 3 is where we decide to play with spirit as we understand ... it, him or her ... God.

A new way of doing things ... having a healthy dependency on Spirit.

Imagine that!