Every one of us has to give up deciding what is good or evil on our own terms ... that maybe sound ridiculous in the nth degree ... but it is because our ego is not the guiding light in all this. It wants to be, but it is not. It’s Spirit that is the guiding light and the Ego is in the way.
When we were very young our initial experiences with life were difficult ... that much is true. At that point in life every one of us related to that difficulty as it being painful. Again true! Basically because it was, but from the child’s magical way of looking, this pain or painfulness is understood as a death threat; something to be escaped from; it does not mean that it was a death threat, but from the child’s perception of it, it was.
Once there and established as a mindset, difficult/painful/death threat as a unit, then in the perception of all, the afterglow of the death threat attaches to anything that seems to be painful without any idea of the covert issues that are attaching to the present moment. These issues are really from our deep past of the painfulness from childhood. The intensity of the experience in the here and now is often coloured by the volume and the intensity of the childhood experience buried deep in our psyche. Thus the covert undercurrent relentlessly brings us to an irrational place in our consciousness that is embodied in fear ... “fear of pain” ... and that pain equates to perception of imagined death. Basically, scary as hell for no apparent reason other then what is present before us in the here and now. None of this is rational thinking but as this sense of fear intensifies and gains momentum, the symbiotic feedback loop repeats itself as our imagination, begins to take off and analyses what we think is happening and what we can do about it. As we try and rationalize our feelings away, we create a perfect little hell of our own making.
How Can We Avoid The Undercurrent Of The Covert Issue Of Death?
What happened when we were young was that we trusted what we did to combat those terrible feelings of isolation, fear and death. We learned self reliance. The problem with self reliance is that it was learned from the child’s perspective as a measure of self preservation. The problem is that from our prospective it seemed to work. We’re here aren’t we? Maybe, not worked very well, because as adults we are muddling our way through trying to have a life we know that we should be able to have but at the same time not getting what we need or want. We have placed our faith in how we did it then and do things now. It becomes a cybernetic feedback loop, a returning cycle; it becomes our way of doing things. We have to know what is best from our own point of view. We carry on repeating the same old patterns and getting the same old results.
Most, even the seemingly most religious of us, really don’t have the concept of how to place our faith in Spirit. Now if you are paying close attention to this thing called Life, the entire exercise of life is really about learning how to do just that; place our faith in something we have little or no experience with, then carrying on into the unknown.
Did you know that it is impossible to be afraid of the unknown? The only things we can fear are those things that we have experience with and then imagine about and then project those imaginings forward into our unknown, our future ... and that can make our life a very scary place to be.
In a 12 step program, the steps direct our attention to examining all the aforementioned; in Steps 2 and then Step 3; in Step 2. It is all about how we can’t do it ourselves and that something far greater than “me” ... “WE” ... can restore me to sanity.
Once experience is gained here in the appreciation and understanding of Step 2, that lays the foundation for Spirit, because Step 3 is where we decide to play with spirit as we understand ... it, him or her ... God.
A new way of doing things ... having a healthy dependency on Spirit.
Imagine that!
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