Tuesday, April 16, 2013


On Seeing Clearly Perhaps for the First Time
EXPERIENCE has taught us that[1] when the process of accepting life not working the way we think it should often leaves us deeply shaken. 
John Bradshaw said, “The disease of my disease is the hole in the cup of my soul ... There is an insatiable child inside (of me) that was ruling my life.”[2] 
To heal ourselves and grow, each of us has to do what everyone else has to do to come to spiritual completion.  We have to surrender to the Greater Way of Things and experience the Original Pain that can only be discovered from our childhood; it is the pain we have kept bottled up inside for so long and we now avoid like the plague ... it is there that the secret lay for healing.
Opening the second eye[3] is a more profound event.  It requires something pro-active to happen.  It requires an exchange between the seeker and the universe.  The exchange happens on the path (and only on the path) as the seeker surrenders into the greater unknown. This always equates to surrender into the fear.  It isn’t but that is what it seems to equates to.
Fear is defined in the Course in Miracles as the Absence of Love and it is a given in this business that it is far easier to hang on to what I know then it is to face the demons that hold me fast and frozen in my place. 
As Scott Peck points out, we have to go through the pain, to embrace it, to process it, to reduce it and transform it; that is the only way out.
 Dignity Of Daring
Only to the extent that a person exposes themselves, (over and over again) to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him.  In this process lies the Dignity of Daring … Only if we venture repeatedly through zones of annihilation can our contact with the Divine Being (which is beyond annihilation) become firm and stable.  The more a person learns wholeheartedly to confront that which threatens him, the more the depths of Reality are revealed to him and the possibilities of a New Life Happening for them. Then the possibility of Becoming a Co Creator with the Creator is opened[4].
The Only Way Out Is Through  ... Simple, Just Hard To Do
27)  What are you afraid of?
28)  What are you afraid of about the concept of surrender, if anything?
29)  What convinces you that you can't act out successfully anymore?
30)  Do you accept that you’ll never regain control, even after a long period of abstinence from your old behaviors?
31)  Can you begin recovery without a complete surrender?
32)  What would your life be like if you surrendered completely?
33)  Can you continue your recovery without complete surrender?

[1] Taken from Experience Has Taught Us -- 175
[2] John Bradshaw on the Family
[3] Taken from Zen and the Art of Walking Lightly
[4] Karlfrued Graf Von Durkheim The Way of the Transformation

Friday, April 12, 2013

There is a principle, which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance, that principle is contempt prior to investigation[1].

[1] Taken from AA’s 12x12 ....

A different point of View

Hi Neil hope your feeling better and taking things easy is the bike being put back together for summer? Knowing your love of photo's thought i would share this link with you I have posted a few pic's that you might enjoy !!! funny looks like we almost took the same pic in the same place !! note dit on your google posting this past week . I swam here loved it !! big hug ... all the best Mike xxx Cinders 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Zen and the Art of Seeing Clearly Perhaps for the First Time …

Zen and the Art of Seeing Clearly Perhaps for the First Time
A series of 28 short essays on health and healing … as a direction not an event … 

EXPERIENCE has taught us that[1] the process of being out of touch with our true feelings induces grandiosity and compulsivity
Grandiosity and compulsivity are clear symptoms that the demon is quietly waiting, (quietly waiting for opportunity to arise and act out in your life) and that the core problems have yet to be addressed. This insight often comes forward during some form of counseling or intimate sharing; it is generally when we get the first indicator that something is hiding in our blind spots and is having a profound effect on our lives. 
Often it gets pointed out to us that we really don’t have friends or that our primary relationships are becoming progressively more non-intimate or . . . and there are hundreds of “or’s,” and our journey does not truly begin until we begin to notice. 
It is a given in this business that paradox is a factor in dealing with life on life’s terms
Coming to terms with making my worst feared foe my friend and confident is a lot like leaning into the proverbial left hook
When one comes to terms with the paradox that codependency was once our adversary but now it needs to swing from foe to ally and as our ally can be called upon at any time for wise counsel … wise counsel being defined as applications of wisdom picked up on the journey through life  … when we are able to be in that place in our consciousness … of applying our wizened experience to our next circumstance … life takes on a richer, deeper meaning. 
With the experience of codependency as counselor or mentor, there seems to naturally develop an awareness of the value of time and an appreciation of life in all its many twists and turns.  Love takes on a dynamic most would not have imagined … but … and this is the hurdle we must all get over … but … only if we are willing to face the demon of codependency sitting there in the middle of the path … right there obstructing our journey.  If we shy away from the demon-on-the-path, we deprive ourselves of any possibility of gaining its’ wise counsel in our future dealings with life … and it follows that we will always be lacking somewhat in the expression of our love and our interplay with all the intricacies of life … lacking the necessary clarity we will need to be able to see and appreciate life and love … to its fullest potential.
I quote from Peck “When we shy away from … … the ever changing nature of things, we inevitably shy away from life[2].”


Answer More Of These in Your Journal … In Long Hand[3]

27)  What crisis brought you to a point of considering a recovery process?
28)  What situation specifically led you to formally want to begin the work of the Steps?
29)  When did you first recognize your behaviour as your problem? 
30)  Did you try to correct it? 
31)  If so, how? 
32)  If not, why not?
Noticing and Accepting
Are Two Different Places In My Consciousness And Should Never Be Confused With Each Other … They Are The Stepping Stones To Wise Counsel
For your Journal It was late afternoon when I came upon this place; (be that real or imagined) … tell the story of this place and tell the story of your experience there; in long hand, in your journal …

Photo Alvida Russ 1

[1] Taken from Experience Has Taught Us ---175 Missing Pieces …
[2] Taken from the Road Less Traveled Scott Peck author …
[3] Experience Has Taught Us: Searching for the Willingness to Change … Neil Douglas Tubb Author

Friday, April 5, 2013

Response to:I Fell From The Sky ...

In response to Neil’s “thought of the week” , April 2,2013-04-04

Probably the first thing that comes to mind is Anger.

I just want to say, “Oh stop your whining, stop being in denial...yes it happened...now get on with it...you pain in the ass!   And when I see this written I hear my mother and my older sister.  The whole thing about that statement at the end of Neil’s email is “I fell from the sky”. Oh frig! As if you’re so detached from it all...Yes it happened, Yes it was painful, Yes I see how it shaped my personality, Yes I still see how it creeps up in every day I invest in.  Yes, yes it’s there and yes I have to keep seeing/feeling to let it go.  It’s the crap/history/past I must deal with and denying it just keeps me down, asleep, searching.  Quit this frickin pie in the sky bullshit!   “I fell from the sky”...Enough!!

I was physically beaten, I saw my mother beaten too... I've seen my dog brutally kicked, I’ve seen pain inflicted and blood...It was awful.  The memory goes deeper into a blackness of rage I've felt and acted upon. Sometimes hitting myself in the head and body, sometimes driving so fast that I could kill myself with one wrong turn, sometimes getting so high-to the edge-just to feel nothing but a numb peace. I've felt so suppressed by dominate men there would be a pressure in my gut that seems like a black hole, this is where my soul would go to hide.   After that I’d just go through the motions, void of feeling.  I learned to keep going from my mother; she’d come back from the beatings, broken nose or black eye, making breakfast and saying sweet nothings to the man in the house.  We all had to be polite, even though he just hurt our mother badly.  It’s a sick feeling in my gut I remember it.

No I didn't fall from the sky...I was right there all along.

A client.... 

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Spiritual Experience (hind sight)

On Seeing Clearly ... Perhaps for the First Time

EXPERIENCE has taught us that[1] the process of no longer using any mind-changing, mood-altering devices (chemicals, or otherwise) can induce a twisted form of thinking for the first while.  This twisted form of thinking sets into motion a false belief that the worst is over (this is called the pink cloud effect) and that all our problems are fixed. 
Spiritual Experience (hind sight) has taught me that:
It is in my Ego … where I am obsessive, compulsive and addictive. 
It is in my Ego where I think I know. 
It is in my Ego where I have come to believe that I am alone and my world is a dangerous place[2].
It is in my Ego where my cravings have life, and …
It is in my Ego where I think I am healed when I have not yet really begun my journey.
For Your Journal … Finish this story
I fell from the sky … It was an accident … the horses and the men were raiding the village … they took most of the children and some of the women … I was scooped up in the confusion … but I was not one of them … I fell from the sky …

[1] From Experience Has Taught Us ---175 Number 68
[2] Taken from Step One in The Metaphor.