Zen and the Art of the Fine Whine

Zen and the Art of the Fine Whine: It is in the incessant noise of critical complaining and whining where we learned to bond with people.

We, as co-dependents, use our problems, our ailments, our spectating into other people’s lives, world events or neighbourhood situations as a bonding formula. It is a negative recipe about what is wrong with me, or with you or with the world or how things are or should be that unites us in the moment. We Hope!

Classically, we either were or are subject of harsh criticism and dissection by others and today we analysis everything into a place where we turn into the harsh critics that haunted us in our childhood.

We know what is wrong with us and what’s wrong with others and we use that knowingness to cling to people, so that we can become the one who knows ... to become “special” finally ... to, at long last, be the one who is noticed because, when our history clearly demonstrates that we were ignored to the point of deep abandonment and abuse.

This is a learned defence strategy that has run amuck. One of the nasty facts that go with this format of needs fulfilment is that we actually drive those people out of our lives in our very efforts to bond with them. Why? Because our posture is highly manipulative, complaining and controlling ... the very thing we cherish, the very thing we desire, our sense of self, sense of belonging, sense of being special, is lost in the very efforts we put forth in our vain attempt(s) to resolve the problem that is really lodged deeply in our past and not in our present moment.

If we can know what we are really up against

Then we can do something about it.