When you attempt to become separate from what seems to give you pain, and please notice that I said ‘from what seems to give you pain’, and you do this by making “others” or “it” the wrong thing to do ... or ... being the bad one, or by knowing what is right and proper for everyone else ... always by being the peace keeper, or the hero, or the scapegoat, or by medicating your feelings with drugs and alcohol or distractions, you usually develop a life style based upon projection. You may twist reality to suit your need to be right etc. and justify your behaviour by making others wrong to justify your position, thought or activity.
Taking back these projections often requires the loving confrontation and support of group and/or family members, friends and business partners, your spouse or a therapist.
The projections tend to fall away slowly, often as not very slowly until finally enough of the denial is removed and the truth of who you and who others really are, is revealed to you.
Projection Make Perception
Projection occurs when you see split-off parts of yourself in other people ... You may not recognize them in yourself; they are hard to see. When you are protecting yourself from seeing those spilt-off parts of yourself, you may have trouble distinguishing between your internal world (fantasy) and the external world (reality). Things often as not, get very confusing and certain desperation seems to set up that drives compulsive behaviours.
Projection is complicated by the fusion of co-dependency and inability to feel and act separate from other people ... By seeing in others the very qualities that you refuse to acknowledge in yourself, this can allow you to continue on in your denial and delusion while at the same time avoiding taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings and for taking charge of your life.
Another important characteristic of the split-off parts is that the more they are ignored or denied, the more strength they gain as demonstrated by:
1. You may act out the part unexpectedly. For example, if your anger is split off, you may erupt in a fit of anger. It "happens to you" without you having much awareness.
2. Someone may act out the part for you.
Split-off parts are always outside your awareness.