Conflict in social interaction comes in many forms: brute force, implacable institutions, and internal divisions among one's friends, fellow workers and family. If there is to be an opening in any situation, a way through to resolution, we are going to have to be willing to listen to what we have to say to ourselves about ourselves, and at the same time not be caught in the reactive nature that has brought us to impasse in the first place.
Insights don't come easily, as you probably are discovering. It takes a great deal of strength to detach you and be honest. After all, we all have vested interests in whom and what we think we are and what is going on around us. This is the stuff that gives us our definition of who we are, and we tend to seek out those situations, people and events that support what we have come to learn about ourselves in the first place.
It’s a cycle; nothing more, nothing less.
We may even begin to notice that along with our cleanest dirty shirt and good intentions, we have also carried with us the seeds of our own pain. Our expectations, our needs sometimes come home to roost, and to act out because that is what "they" most perfectly do. After all it makes sense, after all it’s the way it's always been done.
So if it is a prison that we are in, then we have to be open to the examination of every aspect, just to find that loose brick or vent duct so we can actually begin our escape from our false self into our real self.
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