This business of detaching is really a method of skimming close to boredom or anxiety and making it sound socially acceptable when in fact it is a form of dissociation and is actually a form of numbing out.
Dragging home the invisible bone in hopes of finally being noticed for my achievements in a vain attempt to gain approval from and in my family of origin can become a treadmill.
Here is the familiar family refrain:
Statement: “He forgot my birthday.” When the truth of the matter is he was unable to act on the birthday for fear of making a mistake.
Counter: "Oh, well, no big deal." When in fact it hurts to be forgotten by someone you hope loves and cares for you, so you diminish it and try to numb it out and pretend all is well.
A lifetime of this kind of experience, in which the deep need for recognition is routinely dishonored, teaches all that putting anything out for attention is a dangerous act and almost always a painful experience.