It came about after a prolonged period of meditation, having the same image come up in my mind's eye over and over - A Closed Door in the middle of a giant hall. Someone said write about it and I did; hence this poetry and the concept, then 175 Missing Pieces and all the rest of the books on recovery and now workshops and seminars on spiritual recovery.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Golden Rules of Coupling
Habits that Clearly Show Caring
I may not necessarily agree with what you are doing but I will support you ... in my actions and in my thoughts.
when I see you struggling ... I will encourage you to make you journey ... the best teacher in life is life itself ... and most times we just need to go through what we need to so that we can learn the How to's of Life.
Being A Listening/Listener
When I listen to you or to others I reassure me quietly that I am heard too ... Odd but true ... to be able to listen to my partner work at being who they are and supporting them in their attempt and encouraging them to move forward is important both for them but more so for me
Life is full of hiccups and my mistakes allow me to see more clearly where it is that I am going ... there will be times when I encounter situations and people that I am totally in disagreement with ... then I have to move my mind and heart to a place called accepting ... in doing so I may discover that what they are is morally or ethically wrong ... then I can stand my ground with purpose ... but to accept my life being what is and how it is ... is the secret to my serenity today (AA's Big Book)
this is totally about real value ... and what is really valuable ... A Course In Miracles (see manual for Teaches on page 9) takes some time with this thought ... this is not about I hope he or she will not step on my toes ... this is about how I value you and how I perceive that you value me and how it is that I value me ... this is all about perception and value ... but the point is real value.
In partnering we next naturally come to the need for respect: It follows that if I am in a relationship with you, then I need to respect your choices ... I don’t need to agree with them but I do need to respect them. I don’t need to try and control your choices. One of the undercurrents of saying “I love you.” often is my need for or my attempt to ... control, so I can feel safe in the face of overwhelming knowledge that I am Alone And My World Is A Dangerous Place.In showing respect for you, I allow you to be who you are and I don’t attempt to adjust you to my liking ... the way I need you to be so I can believe that I am safe. So if I am in a place called respect, I respect every belief you have and every choice you make. Again, I may not agree, but I respect ... Why? Because I love you the way you are, not for the way I need you to be. Now to balance off respect spiritually within me, I ... being in Self Love and not narcissism, I have to respect my own life, (wants, wishes, needs and desires) and thus I will not allow you to control how and who I am.
Willing to Talk things Through An open mind An open Heart And a Willingness To Change To be able to talk things through To a safe conclusion for Me to Negotiate