WE Hide our pain

9

Zen and the Art of Lost and Found

We attempt to hide our pain from us and from others, especially our significant others.

We attempt to hide us from us.

Being denied our basic child dependency needs:

·      We dwell in shame … plagued with dependency problems.

·      Normal needs and urges become attempts to fill the empty self.

·      The need for fun and excitement become addictions to intensity.

·      The need for attention becomes acting out or acting in or transfer and projection on to others … we say they are the ones with the problem or are needy, when it is really about us.

·      The need for self-esteem becomes arrogance.

·      The need for nourishment (especially ... psychological, spiritual, social and emotional) becomes our eating disorders.

·      The need for understanding becomes compulsive demanding.

·      The need for security becomes obsessive worrying and desolation.

·      The need for self-care becomes isolated narcissism.

·      The need for relationship becomes desperation.

·      The need for intimacy becomes enmeshment.

·      Our sexual needs become shame, compulsion, fear, confusion and jealousy.

·      The need for identity becomes an over identification with the responses to our childhood hurts.

We over identify with the labels of pathology … of appearing to know what it is that causes us to do whatever it is that we do … when it is really us talking about us when we talk about the pathologies.

These pathologies are merely windows to a lost childhood.

·      Addiction(s) is a window to the hurting child. 

·      Self-destructiveness is a window to lost childhood pain[1].

·      Hopelessness is a window to the loss of self hood or undeveloped self hood. 

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[1] Terry Kellogg … Broken Toys Broken Dreams