Tuesday, October 5, 2010
This is the Journey of Addiction, Obsession and Compulsion (A.O.C.)
In recovery we have to face powerlessness - that we cannot control. The first step of the twelve step program is accepting that our lives have become unmanageable, that we are powerless.
The paradox of addiction, obsession and compulsion is what we think we need the most of is really what we need the least of. We think we need to get in control and we try to control the addiction, obsession and compulsion. The most common recovery for addiction, obsession and compulsion is another form of the same thing because when we try to control IT and as we do, other forms of A.O.C. tend to break out.
Our tendency in this country is to treat symptoms rather than the issues. People tend to move from one A.O.C. to another, or they control an A.O.C. until it resurfaces (dry drunks is a good example). The ability to control the A.O.C. is often seen as the reason or justification that they aren't caught up in all this. The alcoholic who is able to quit drinking or cut down is not proving that they're not an alcoholic. Why would they need to quit or cut down if they don't have a problem in the first place? Denial and Delusion go hand in hand.
Some of us believe that we're in control, yet we're careening through life with some five year old inner child driving something the size of a bus and not about to let go of the steering wheel ... without any connection between our steering wheels and our front wheels and without any semblance of a destination or a purpose.
This is The Journey of A.O.C.
The hallmark of A.O.C. is loss of Control
Its sustaining force is Denial.
Denial isn't necessarily part of the A.O.C.
But it is a part of the expanded impact of the A.O.C. in our lives.