Zen and the Art of Lost & Found
Defining the Problem
We
tend to carry unresolved and hidden childhood and family issues into our adult
life … workplaces or relationships or family matters.
In fact we
re-enact the roles of our family in just about everything that we do.
The ability to identify these roles and their primary characteristics
that family members adapt to and eventually become … will be of primary
importance in the treatment of the family system in dysfunction. Definitions may vary for the term
"co-dependent" depending on the philosophical orientation of the
writer … similarly for terms such as "enabler" or "co-addict".
Roles, Roles[1]
As an example: the children of the co- dependent family system tend to
assume the following roles to survive within the family system.
q These roles can and do overlap
q They change, and it is good to know that the ones listed
here are only the umbrella groupings of the roles we play … there are
many more.
q The present day origins of our roles lay in the ashes of
the residuals of all the past and different roles we played in our families
systems just to survive being a kid at our house.
q Our job if we want to heal is to look and go back and
look at our families and the roles that everyone had and to rework our roles.
A. The Hero Role
B. The Martyr Role
C. The Pleaser Role
D.
The
Parent Role.
E. The Good-Guy Or Gal Role
F. The Rebel Role
G. The Lost Child Role
H. The Extension Of Parent Role
I. The Mediator Role
J.
The
Clown, Mascot Or Entertainer Role
K.
The Charmer Role
L.
The Victim Role
M.
The Offender Role
N. The Enabling Role
O. The Addict Role
P. The Scapegoat Role
Q. The Organizer Role
R. The Healer Role
The Jeremiah Or Prophet Role
Avoid Negativity at all cost … Negative = Bad.
S.
The
Queen Bee Role
T.
The
Gadfly Role
U.
The
Odd-Duck Role
[1]
Whitefield, Charles MD … Codependency
/Healing the Human Condition … published by Health Communications Inc Deerfield
Beach Florida … 1991
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