Wednesday, July 6, 2016
23 Zen and the Art of Lost and Found
On Appreciating Deeper Processes Sadness
What I discovered about me was that as I awakened into the moment of my experience, my existence … the process(s) of my various relationships … simultaneously throughout my being … yet in separate places in my consciousness … I discovered I have many issues locked up inside of me … with me being me … most are of the past … some are of the present … but when I really look closely I noticed that the roots of the system(s) that maintains my sense of having a problem … all that is in my past.
It is all in the past … it is never in the here and now … something like crab grass … it seems to spring up everywhere … it grows over here and has its roots over there … to get rid of it I must go to the root … oddly enough my partner, constantly reminds me of all this.
Some days I blame her and some days she blames me … some days we happen to notice the truth of our own circumstances … the necessity of the process of spiritual crab grass weeding of the soul.
If the truth were known … I have spent a lifetime shying away from my sadness(s) … from processing it … from gardening and nurturing my own soul … from processing the things that are deeply rooted in the depths of my psyche for fear of what my sadness might do … not will do … but, might do. Fearing something that I was manufacturing in my own head … something that was keeping me frozen in my tracks … slowing me to a stand still on my journey …
Did I mention that the Ego hates change? … Did I mention that one?
This one is big.
A Story Of An Awakening
Let me set the stage a bit.
§ We are born.
§ We come onto the face of this planet and into this world.
§ Our parents and family have hopes and aspirations for us.
§ We have God given talents, wants, likes and dislikes.
§ We have gender.
§ We have thought.
§ We have vision. Or at least so we think.
Ideally, through our infancy, we are totally dependent on others for everything. Just as it should be, and as a result we became totally dependable for others ¾ infants (our children primarily) as they move through their initiation period ¾ childhood and out into their adulthood.
Next, life’s design seems to want to preserve itself; the physical seems first and foremost on the agenda.
This is accomplished by doing things like avoiding violence, if possible, or at least minimizing it, or providing food, shelter and clothing for ourselves.
Preserving the Self is a life long process but as we become efficient at doing so some of us naturally come to a point where we awaken onto ourselves. Not into us, but onto us, there is a difference.
It seems clear that this awakening process is twofold.
Our Deeper Eyes Open One At A Time