Friday, May 27, 2011

Check List “A” on Dysfunction "The Control Patterns" I Do

What Is It That I Do
That Keeps Me Stuck In The Rut
That I Say I Want Out Of

Check List “A”
The Control Patterns

• I must be needed in order to have a relationship.

• I value other’s approval of my thinking, my feelings and my behaviours over my own.

• I will agree with others just so they will like me, or to avoid conflict.

• I focus my attention on protecting and saving others.

• I truly believe that most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.

• I tend to keep score of “all the good deeds and favours I do” and I get very upset when others don’t notice or repay me.

• I am very skilled at second guessing how other people are feeling or thinking.

• I can anticipate what others need and provide it before they ask.

• I become resentful when others won’t let me help (my way).

• I stay calm and efficient in the midst of someone else’s crisis.

• I only feel good about me when I am helping someone else.

• I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.

• I put aside my own interests and concerns in order to do what others want.

• I can only ask for help if I am ill, and then reluctantly.

• I cannot tolerate seeing someone else’s pain.

• I lavish gifts and favours on those I care about or who I want to win favour with.

• I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.

• I attempt to convince others of how they should “truly” think and how they “should” really feel.

• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being others.

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