Tuesday, April 12, 2016

12 Zen and the Art of Lost and Found

Zen and the Art of Lost and Found

There Are No Time Machines To Go Back And Fix Things, To Prevent What Happened From Happening. What Happened Is Exactly That, What Has Happened.

There are miracles of course ... and I have wished for more than my fair share of them. But here is the interesting twist, I seldom stopped to notice the affect any of them had. Then I stopped and noticed this one time, stopped and noticed the affect of a wish. It was then that I noticed just how it was that I really wished for something ... my particular way of doing it. What I had invested in the wish.

On Bargaining with God

I noticed that my wishing my wish did not make me feel more separate or together or special or non-special... 

When I wished what had happened to me had never happened it was then that I realized that most of who I am today ... source of my pride in me ... as an adult ... is a direct result of what happened to me as a child. Who would I be today if what happened had not happened?  I have discovered that it is a mistake at the deepest level to believe that God would help or heal another and ignore me ... even after I had invested so much time in developing a conclusion that could conjoin my sense of self pity with my low self esteem. This ends up defining me to both myself and the world ... by my limitations. It is a mistake to believe that God whispers the secrets of life to His Chosen Few. I noticed after some deep investigation of the matter ... that His Chosen Few were chosen by themselves ... and not by Him. Oh there are many who promoted this thought, but what I have come to understand is, those people are even more desperate and alone then I ... and they seem to feel the absence of God in their lives more then I do.

Neil Douglas-Tubb 2001

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