Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Now ... What to do about my past

Finally, things seem to be coming to completion. 
I’ve got my cataloguing done, I've made my lists and I have become willing to fix whatever it is that needs to be fixed. 
I’m ready!” I shout from beside the mystical stream. “I’m ready.” 
I’m also, very much in a hurry. Understatement
Let’s just get this thing done so I can get on with the rest of my life,” I say to myself under my breath.
“Now, before anything else happens, I’ll just start to get in touch with some of those lost souls I may have trudged upon and say I’m sorry.  I’ll knock off a few names tonight and then a few tomorrow and it will be done in nothing flat.  Right!”
I feel a presence with me now.  Neither male nor female: that Voice just seems to be here filling some unseen space and it’s other quality at this moment is that it is silent. 
But I can feel it. 
My newfound friend and guide asks me where I’m going.  I tell him that I am off just to get a few names ticked off the list and done before nightfall, and he says, “Slow down. This is not what you may think it is.  This is not wham bam thank you and I’m sorry ma’am.”
“This is a process of setting things to right.  So, sorry does not really enter into it unless it is something that is really necessary.  Remember, every case is different.  Sometimes you can't do anything at all.”
Wise advice. 

Experience Has Taught Me
To notice and ponder,
To sometimes do this in the midst
Of all the urgency of my “terrible dailyness”
Then ask myself:
What old behaviours and ways have I fallen back into that keep me stuck in the rut I am trying so desperately to leave?

Experience Has Taught Me
Next is a worthwhile concept.
Actually knowing what needs to be done next. 
I can allow the healing of my relationships if I want. 
I have the power within me. 
I am connected now. 
It is with me. 
I am part of it. 


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