Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Mystical Stream / Metaphorical Backpack
So here I sit next to a mystical stream or tree or something … with a now empty metaphorical backpack at my side. Now what?
I notice that there is dust covering me, and I am afraid that every passerby will notice too. It is embarrassing to sit here all covered in the grunge of my past. I feel shame and embarrassment. I know that every passer-by can see … in my mind I am sure that I know exactly what they are thinking. I’m afraid of the “what if’s”, what if my newfound God finds out about me, too? As I think those thoughts I slowly begin to sense a feeling of warmth and certainty fill my body.
I sense that I am safe again. I can now both sense and hear that Voice within, and this is a poor description of that experience, but they are the only words I can use to describe what happens when I communicate with my Creator.
The Voice is so much a part of me now and it tells me that these things that I called “my stuff” are only the things that happened, they are not who I am. Perfect, Upright and Beautiful, Some Days My Behavior Stinks, I am not my Behavior. I sense or hear that this Power within me loves me for me, then I remember an old phrase:
God Don’t Make No Junk.
I begin to look for someone who has already walked this part of the path, someone to share with, someone who seems to know their way along this pathway. I know that I need to do this. I know that I want to brush off the dust of my past. Just like cataloguing the stuff, I now know in my heart of hearts that I must unburden myself in the presence of both my Higher Power and another living breathing human being.
This feels scary but I know this must be done.
Who will I trust? I ask for guidance from my Higher Power, just a short prayer and as I do I notice someone is there beside me. I look at them and just know they are the one.
Together we sift through the dust. For the first time in my life I feel accepted and safe.
. . . Experience Has Taught Me That . . .