Saturday, February 19, 2011
Over and over, I have followed my own advice on what I think I should do and how I think I should do it and each time it came up the same, I have failed.
There are times when the desperation inside of me becomes so overwhelming; I don’t think I can go on another moment.
But as I quiet my mind and close my eyes I notice, for the first time in years, that there is a part of me that remembers the truth of whom I am. It speaks to me in a voice that is neither male nor female and reassures that all is not for naught.
Imagine that, from deep inside me, a Voice of sanity, reassurance, comfort and truth. This is a voice that I recall from my childhood, soft and certain, it reminds me of my Maker and It tells me I am part of all that is. One with! I am part of the plan too and I belong, no longer left out.
"No Child of God, can be less than perfect."
There is warmth and a comfort that comes over me as I sense this presence deep within me. Oh, it is hard to discern at first, but each time I acknowledge it to be alive and well within me, I feel it grow and become more pronounced and defined, and more a part of my life.
I feel the pieces of me beginning to come home from their hiding places and take their rightful place within me.
The missing parts of me are beginning to fall into place, as if some giant hand is now beginning to put me, the jigsaw puzzle, back together again.
. . . Experience Has Taught Me That . . .
I know that I have many avenues open to me and it really is a simple decision.
A or B
Choose the new and unfamiliar, take the risks and begin to experiment with something that I have discovered within me, something totally new and unfamiliar or
Do it the old way and take one more step towards death.
Which will I choose.