Tuesday, January 25, 2011


1. Make your "recovery" the first priority in your life.
Become Pro Active in your own life.

2. Become "selfish," i.e., focus on getting your own needs met
more effectively.

3. Courageously face your own problems and shortcomings.

4. Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself, i.e., fill
in gaps that have made you feel undeserving or bad about yourself.

5. Learn to stop managing and controlling others; by being more
focused on your own needs, you will no longer need to seek security
by trying to make others change.

6. Develop your "spiritual" side, i.e., find out what brings you peace
and serenity and commit some time, at least half an hour daily, to
that endeavor.

7. Learn not to get "hooked" into the games of relationships; avoid
dangerous roles you tend to fall into, e.g., "rescuer" (helper),
"persecutor" (blamer), "victim" (helpless one).

8. Find support (friends, people who are in recovery too, a sponsor, a therapist), people who understand and most importantly people who know their way through all this.

9. Learn to share; learn the business of With, Us and We. Share and listen with someone you are willing to listen to. This one is very important. Then follow their directions.

10. Consider getting professional help and if you do get professional help try working with the pro, after all that is why you are paying them. Most people never think of this because it is too scary, just fessup and tell them it is scary, then get on with it.

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