These are the characteristics of
a Healthy Relationship as outlined in
ACIM.
They include the concepts of
healthy interdependence, never independence. St Paul said, “I find strength in my
weakness”, and being inter-dependent with my fellow travelers is part of the
interpretation of what he meant in that quote.
The deeper processes of the 10
healthy characteristics are compatible with all Twelve-Step programs and
interestingly enough, compatible with the core teachings of the world's great
religious systems, both Eastern and Western, including Christianity and
Judaism.
Both the ancient and modern
literature, realize Serenity is a result not a cause. First we have to discover
who we are.
The Second of the Twelve Steps says, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could
restore us to sanity” wherein sanity means wholeness or completeness a sense of
self. The process of knowing who I am
and how I can function in a healthy fashion with other people is the key here.
It follows then by simple
progression that as we first become more aware of all the lost and split off
parts of Our Self (our lower self—physical,
mental, and emotional and then becoming aware of the heart, compassion and our True Self,) this becomes the bridge to our
Higher Self—our intuition,
creativity, compassion and God Consciousness
… this is the spiritual essence of our being.
There is an ordering in all this
and one happens after the other, there
are no short cuts.
Thus it follows that if we do
the work of getting the hurt and shame of our
false believe system out of the way, then we discover what is within and a part of us is the Divine
connection. It was always there; it just felt like it was missing.
Put simply, this means that Spirit is in us. The process of understanding
the concept of a Higher Power comes by inter acting with my fellow travelers and
this leads me back home to me. It always will.
Christ said the Kingdom lay within and it does, but it is incumbent upon
each of us as individuals to get off our duffs and go find it … then come to
terms with something that is far deeper and more meaningful than our intellectual mind could imagine, but a part of us none the less.
The Course points out clearly
that our True Self is the only part
of us that can connect to God … it does
this experientially not intellectually … thus this journey is not of the
mind but of the heart.
A
Healthy Relationship is:
1) Is
based on my love of Spirit, and my love of My True Self. (It has its
origins in my individuality and in the true and proper expression of my
feelings. It is something that is powerfully personal and individual but only
as it is expressed in the greater situation.)
2) I
see this love in everyone. Sometimes it is hard to notice, Mother Theresa said
it best: “I see Christ in all his distressing disguises everywhere I look.”
3) I
take responsibility for my own suffering. I look within myself and I search it
out and … I own it … I am proactive in my own healing and growth.
4) I
search out … address and release my shame, guilt, hurt, anger and resentments
through the forgiveness process … me in combination with it releasing me from
my past[1]
in the present and regaining my future.
5) I
realize that Love has one graceful quality and that is Abundance, and that the
scarcity principle that I had followed for most of my life is only an illusion
that I dreamt up out of my own deep-seated fears. It was never a truth, but
Abundance is the truth.
6) I
know that there is nothing lacking in me, That
I Am A Perfect Child Of God, and Serenity
is my natural state of being.
7) I
respect my positive ego and use it as an assistant in my growth[2].
The Ego is not my enemy, but my friend
and tool. It has a role in my life,
and that role is to serve not to lead.
8) I use daily
spiritual practices. I have a
spiritual maintenance program and I follow it. It is part of my ritual of
life. I acknowledge to myself that
ritual is a necessary part of spiritual.
9) I
live and relate in the present moment or Holy Instant, the Now.
10) In
relationships, I am open and communicating, trusting, gentle, peaceful, joyful
and celebrating.
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