On Seeing Clearly And Taking Action
EXPERIENCE
has taught us that each of us is in some way obsessed
with self-improvement: trying to be better, always trying to have more, trying
to be fixed, trying to help either ourselves or someone else; trying to appear
different. There are hundreds of variations on this theme; some are very
misleading and can be quite confusing if we take them only at face value.
Frequently, we use those scripts and
beliefs to trick ourselves into believing that all is well in our world, often
in spite of overwhelming evidence that it is not.
If we ever stopped to examine the
reality of it all, we might just notice that things are not so good.
Really!
Things I have learned:
There are a few things that I have learned on this journey
and one important one is, Awakening is Not Analyzing … or … Analyzing is Not Awakening … this one confused me for some time … I thought that if I
knew, then I would know and if I was in a place of knowing then all would be
fine in my world …
The problem with that is that I never got this theory on
knowing to work all that well … but lord knows I tried …
I basically tried every variation on a theme …
I analyzed for the sake of analyzing … I
analyzed the analysis … I look closely at my waking state and I analyzed what
it was that I thought I did to keep me from being fully awakened into my world … whatever that meant … and
understanding it … all at the same time.
What I discovered was Awakening
is Awakening … and it has nothing to do with my understanding of it … oh
there is an understanding that comes with it … but understanding will not bring
it on ... no matter how hard I tried to make it work for me in that fashion …
Freedom and
Happiness is not what it appears to be:
Working
mis-Definition of Freedom and Happiness:
What most
people call freedom is simply their willful ability to satisfy their desires.
The call of I want more freedom, is the hue and cry of the false self’s
need to fill an emptiness it senses within itself and has no idea how to
fill.
What I have
come to understand about the statement: I want more freedom is; I
want to be able to have more of what I want, when I want it, and in the fashion
that I believe I want to have it in.
From both my
practice and my own practices I have to argue that the process of wanting what
you want as often as you want it … More … is not freedom, it is in fact
a kind of compulsion that keeps one hooked into the delusion that more
is better, or more is best, or more defines wellness; when in
fact, it is truly the defining quality of our discomfort in the first place.
The very thing that more was supposed to remove is defined by the need
for more.
Circuitous
and puzzling all at the same time because the very thing that we are taught is
the answer to the conundrum is in fact what is driving the conundrum to
continue endlessly.
A Working
Definition Of Freedom can be summed up as:
Being able to
have or not have what you want, without being lost in the drama of what appears
to be happening in the unfolding process of having or not having. Thus not having to react to life and
life’s situations and defending yourself from the experience you are trying to
have.
Life
does not have to be a Polar Bear Dancing Lesson